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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29197902">Escape The Past (Scars On Our Future Hearts)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Temmie_Official1/pseuds/1Temmie_Official1'>1Temmie_Official1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ATLA Winter Femslash 2021 [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ATLA Winter Femslash Week 2021, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Bisexual Katara (Avatar), Bisexual Suki (Avatar), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Katara (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Scars, The Last Agni Kai (Avatar), Trans Azula (Avatar), Trans Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:34:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29197902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Temmie_Official1/pseuds/1Temmie_Official1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><b>ATLA Winter Femslash Week!</b><br/><i>Day 4:</i><br/>Prompt: Scars</p><p>Katara reflects on all the scars she’s seen. Suki helps Katara heal the scars she has.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Teo (Avatar), Katara/Suki (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>ATLA Winter Femslash 2021 [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2097126</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Escape The Past (Scars On Our Future Hearts)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from ‘Old Scars/Future Hearts’ by All Time Low.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Katara remembers the first scar she got.</p><p>It was when she was still learning how to waterbend, it was the first time she had turned the snow to ice.</p><p>Katara had cut the flesh of her palm, it wasn't very deep, but she still remembered the tears that had stung at her eyes, the red that had stained the white snow.</p><p>Mom had fixed it, kissing her forehead and telling her that it would be okay. That's what she always said.</p><p>-</p><p>Since then she’s seen many injuries, big and small. Like when Katara was 7 and Sokka was 9 when Sokka got 2 fishhooks stuck in his thumb. (That was probably the first sign that Katara was cut out to be a healer.) It had taken quite an effort to get him to calm down enough to see mom to bandage it up (Sokka still teases her for her 'bedside manner', but now she's able to get him back for it). He had been okay, but sometimes she thought back on it and felt sick. They were kids, they didn't deserve to be hurt at that age, especially considering what would happen in the future.</p><p>She remembered when her dad cut his finger when he was skinning a seal pelt, she had kissed the bandage because that was what mom always did. He laughed and held her close. She didn't remember feeling sad during those times. </p><p>She remembered her mom.</p><p>She didn't like remembering her mom.</p><p>She remembered Kyoshi Island.</p><p>She remembered Suki.</p><p>Suki had been powerful, confident, <i>beautiful</i>. Everything that Katara wasn't. It was the first time that Katara realized that girls could do anything that boys could, and <i>excel</i> at it too. It <i>had</i> been pretty satisfying to watch Suki kick Sokka's ass into shape.</p><p>But it had hurt to see her kiss Sokka before they left.</p><p>That didn't matter, she had other places to be. Plus. She liked Aang. Totally.</p><p>-</p><p>She saw Teo and Aang and realized they were happy. Teo wasn't someone that was looking to be fixed, he was someone that was healing, even if he still had scars. </p><p>Katara knew that she couldn't get in the way of that. But they had to leave. They had to master waterbending.</p><p>-</p><p>Yue's skin was smooth like porcelain in the moonlight. Unmarred. Unscarred. Something behind her eyes was broken, though. She wasn't going to hold onto this world for much longer, Yue felt it in her bones. Katara knew the moment she decided.</p><p>At least when Yue left this world, she didn't have the scars of the world imprinted on her skin.</p><p>-</p><p>Toph was unapologetically 'queer', as they called it. They liked girls, they weren't a girl or boy. It made sense, they were just <i>Toph</i>. Katara wondered if she could be 'queer' too. Toph wasn't anything like the 'girl' they were raised to be, they were strong, powerful, and, frankly, terrifying. Katara admired them for being so strong. She wishes that she could be strong too.</p><p>-</p><p>Suki was something beautiful. Katara had been, quite literally, around the world. She knew that she liked girls now, but it didn't stop the nervousness that fluttered up like moth-butterflies in her stomach every time she looked at Suki. Katara still felt bitter when she saw Suki and Sokka interacting. It wasn't fair. It never was quite fair.</p><p>-</p><p>By far, Zuko's scars were the worst. Katara had confronted him about it one night, away from the rest of the group. There was the obvious one on his face, but there were two under his pectorals, thin like swords. There was a reddened area like a burn on his back. She asked about them. He needed someone to talk to about them.</p><p>He told her.</p><p>"The one on my face is from my father." Katara gasped. "I'm not going to talk about it."</p><p>Katara kept a brave face on. This wasn't about her. "I won't make you."</p><p>Zuko seemed a bit shocked at that. "Thank you." He inhaled. "You promise you won't tell them where these two," He gestured to his clothed chest. "came from?"</p><p>Katara nodded. "I won't." She promised.</p><p>"I... I wasn't born a boy. They're from where my... yeah... where <i>those</i> used to be." He blushed. Katara nodded. This honestly didn't change anything between them.</p><p>Katara hummed. "Oh, kind of like Toph. I, uh, know this isn't the same but I like girls." She offered.</p><p>Zuko smiled. "Thank you." Zuko sighed. "That burn is from my brother."</p><p>Katara furrowed her brow. "You mean the one with the blue fire?"</p><p>Zuko nodded. "Yeah, that's him."</p><p>"Thank you for trusting me with this."</p><p>-</p><p>The air was heavy around her, the heat almost unbearable.</p><p>Zuko's brother was there, arms moving in circular motions, lightning forming, then-</p><p>
  <b>
    <i>Z-ZAP!</i>
  </b>
</p><p>There was the bolt, shooting, terrifying, aimed at the sky.</p><p>Zuko's brother fell to the floor, the final blow not landed. He cried, grabbing at his hair. He kept screaming. "AZULA! AZULA!"</p><p>Katara didn't know who 'Azula' was, nor did Zuko.</p><p>Zuko went towards him. "Are-"</p><p>"Take me away." His voice was surprisingly even, but it was quiet and desperate. Katara could only stare in confusion and awe as Zuko reached towards his brother.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Take me away. Do anything to me. Hand me over to Ozai for all I care. Just..." He lowered his head. "Just don't use that name."</p><p>Zuko knelt beside his brother. "What name do you want?"</p><p>"Azula." Azula's voice cracked. "Azula."</p><p>-</p><p>Suki had told her on a Kyoshi Island summer night. They were by a waterfall. The air hummed around them, the moss soft between their fingers as they sat with their feet in the water. It was calm, quiet, the only light from the full moon and stars above. They had both let their hair down, letting the breeze floor through the strands. Katara’s hand was almost on Suki’s, and if she closed her eyes and imagined enough, she could think that they were closer together than they were. It was perfect.</p><p>“I like you.” The words were sudden, so much that Katara thought she could have imagined them.</p><p>“What?” She asked, almost hoping she didn’t hear her correctly. It would be hard to love someone like her. She was marred by her past and had never quite healed correctly.</p><p>Suki turned to her, eyes soft like warm nights in her childhood, soft like the hugs her mom and dad gave, soft like Appa’s fur when it rustled in the wind, and soft like the love that Katara felt for her. “I like you.” She moved just a bit closer.</p><p>“Thank the salt and sky, then.” Katara laughed a bit, a grin splitting her face. She almost felt Yue encouraging her. <i>Be brave</i> a voice whispered in the back of her mind. Katara could be brave. “I like you too.”</p><p>Suki laughed and it echoed in the breeze. Katara was brave. She grabbed Suki’s hand. “Are you still in love with my brother?” She asked, half joking.</p><p>Suki bit her lip, and Katara wanted to keep that image in her head forever. “No, never did. I liked him, yeah, but...” She gripped Katara’s hand tighter. “I think I only saw you.”</p><p>“Sap.” Katara leaned against Suki, resting her head on her shoulder. They had done this type of thing before as friends. Katara wondered how often Suki had thought of telling her.</p><p>Suki rested her head on Katara’s. It felt like home.</p><p>-</p><p>The snow bit at Katara’s eyes as she blinked in the darkness. She was standing outside. She didn’t deserve to be with Suki.</p><p>“I’m not good enough for you.” Katara said that night. “I’m <i>broken</i>, I have a lot of problems, why do you like me?” She shook. It wasn’t a good day. All she could think of was the lightning that almost would have hit her, the people who killed her mom, all the times that she saw the scars from the aftermath of the trauma they had all faced. She was not okay today. Even though the cold winds of her childhood hometown were usually comforting, they felt like they were cutting her to the bone.</p><p>Suki pulled her close. “It’s not your fault, you could say the same about me, but we’re still here. Do you want to go to bed or go inside while we work this out?” Suki said, running her fingers through Katara’s hair. The repetitive motion gave Katara something to focus on.</p><p>“Bed.” She whispered. Suki led her to their bedroom. It was covered in furs, familiar and comforting. It reminded Katara of her mom. Mom...</p><p>“Katara, lover-girl, it’s going to be okay.” Suki murmured, letting Katara go into bed. The furs were soft around here</p><p>“I’m <i>broken</i>.” Katara said. “Scarred beyond repair.” Suki laid beside her, wrapping her arms around Katara. Katara felt numb.</p><p>“Scars just show where you survived. Like the one on your thumb.” Suki traced it gently. The contact was surprisingly grounding. It didn’t make her feel better.</p><p>“I know...” Katara leaned into Suki’s chest. “It doesn’t feel better. I’m... bad. I don’t like it.”</p><p>“Let it all out, I’m here to listen.”</p><p>“I...” Katara’s voice caught in her throat. She paused.</p><p>“Take as much time as you need.”</p><p>“I don’t know why I’m like this. I lived through all this stuff but I just... I can’t deal with it all. Today... today I...” Suki ran her fingers throat Katara’s hair. Katara sighed. “I don’t <i>understand!</i> I’ve helped so many people but I can’t help myself. What if they aren’t actually better, what if I’m only as good as what I’ve done for myself? What if the people I <i>love</i> don’t love me back? What if you-“ Katara cut herself off. “Sorry.”</p><p>“You don’t have to apologize.” Suki said. “I know it’s hard to survive. We’ve been through a <i>war</i>. It’s not going to be easy. Everyone has bad days, and I know that you don’t feel like you should, but it’s okay for you to not be strong all the time.” </p><p>Katara squeezed her eyes shut. “But I have to be. I’ve... I’ve cared for everyone I know. I’m not used to being cared for.”</p><p>Suki put a hand on Katara’s cheek. “Lover-girl, look at me.” Katara’s eyes met Suki’s brown ones. “I care about you. I don’t mind if you take you 5 days or 5 years to be able to care for someone again, I’ll be the one looking out for you. We’re in this together, you and I.”</p><p>“But why? I don’t des-“</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Katara froze. It was the first time Suki had said the L word to her. “I...”</p><p>Suki smiled. “You don’t have to say it back. But never, <i>ever</i> say that you don’t deserve it. You are an amazing person, you do so much and it’s okay for you to rest. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”</p><p>Katara kissed Suki. “Thank you.” Katara hoped that Suki could hear the meaning in her words. “Thank you.”</p><p>Suki moved her hand off Katara’s cheek, sliding it down to rest at her waist. “It’s getting late.”</p><p>“Mm, we should sleep.”</p><p>Suki made to turn off the lights, but Katara, not wanting Suki to move, waterbent the candles out. “Perks of being a bender, Suki.”</p><p>Katara couldn’t see Suki but she could feel the quiet laugher in her chest. “Love you, lover-girl. For all of you, the good and the bad. The scars too.”</p><p>Katara curled in closer. “I care for you too.” It was the best she could do. The words couldn’t leave her mouth, though she felt the same.</p><p>When they woke up, curled in each other’s arms, Katara knew. It wasn’t something said in words, but it was something felt in her heart. Suki would love her for everything, no matter what.</p><p>Suki would love her, despite the scars on her heart and the scars on her fingers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I said fuck it and published this.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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